HOLY SHIT, I forgot the world was going to end this weekend - could somebody grab me some bottled water?

I was just watching the news and was reminded about the Rapture this weekend. I remember when they said this would happen back in '89 -  at that time a small explosion happened in the chemistry lab at my high school but it caused only limited damage.  The prophets were wrong then, but they seem sure this time.

Problem is, my schedule tomorrow is super busy.  I'm not sure when the Rapture's supposed to happen Saturday. I might be able to get a bunch of survival stuff before noon, but if it's going to be in the middle of the night or something I'd sure appreciate it somebody could drop me off some water at least.

Ineffective Metaphors: File #1

     Farmers in Missouri are pissed.  The Army Corps of Engineers protected farmers in Illinois by blowing up a levee to let the swollen Mississippi relieve itself all over more than 200 square miles of lowland Missouri. 
     "There is no justification for this," farmer Gary Wilson told St. Louis Today.
      Clearly Wilson's remark was made before Army Corps of Engineers Spokesperson Lisa Coghlan addressed the public explaining the need to blow up the levee.  "It's like having one big fish bowl and then having another fish bowl that can obtain some of the water to draw off of the other fish bowl," Coghlan explained.
     I think the Corps of Engineers should publicly release the identity of the school of public relations that Coghlan attended in order to avert similar public relations catastrophes in the future.

One of the farms in the "fishbowl" that's getting drained into.